by Harry Graham
(trifle long, maybe, but good shit)
Willie saw some dynamite,
Couldn't understand it quite;
Curiosity never pays:
It rained Willie seven days.
Willie's cute as cute can be.
Beneath his brother, only three,
he lit a stick of dynamite.
Now brother's simply out of sight.
In the family drinking well,
Willie pushed his sister, Nell.
She's dead all right, the water kilt her.
Now they drink it through a filter.
Little Willie from the mirror licked the mercury off,
thinking in his childish error it would cure whooping cough.
At the funeral Willie's mother smartly said to Mrs. Brown,
"T'was a chilly day for Willie when the mercury went down."
Father heard his children scream
so he threw them in the stream.
Saying as he drowned the third,
"Children should be seen, not heard."
Willie in the cauldron fell;
See the grief on mother's brow;
Mother loved her darling well --
Willie's quite hard-boiled by now.
Willie's on the railroad track.
The engine gave a squeal.
The engineer just took a spade,
and scraped him off the wheel.
Willie fell down the elevator.
Wasn't found till six days later.
Then the neighbors sniffed, "Gee whiz!
What a spoiled child Willie is."
Willie poisoned Auntie's tea.
Auntie died in agony.
Uncle came and looked quite vexed.
"Really, Will," he said, "What next?"
Little Willie's dead and gone.
His face we'll see no more.
For what he thought was H2O
was H2SO4.
Willie, I regret to state,
cut his sister into bait.
We miss her when it's time to dine,
but Willie's fish taste simply fine.
Little Willie hung his sister.
She was dead before we missed her.
"Willie's always up to tricks.
Ain't he cute! He's only six."
Willie bashed open baby's head
to see if brains are gray or red.
What a naughty boy is he
He shall have no jam for tea.
Willie cut off his sister's head
and left it lying hairless.
"Really, Willie," said his mother,
"you sure are getting careless."
Little Willie with a shout,
Gouged the baby's eyeballs out;
Stamped on them to make them pop.
Mother cried, "Now, William, stop!"
William with a thirst for gore,
Nailed the baby to the door.
Mother said, with humor quaint:
"Careful, Will, don't mar the paint."
Little Willie, full of glee
put radium in Grandma's tea.
Now he thinks it's quite a lark
to see her shining in the dark.
Willie and two other brats
licked up all the Rough-on-Rats.
Father said, when mother cried
"Never mind, They'll die outside."
Little Willie mean as hell,
Threw his sister in the well!
Said his mother when drawing water,
"sure is hard to raise a daughter."
William in a nice new sash,
Fell in the fire and burned to ash.
Now, although the room grows chilly,
I haven't the heart to poke poor Billy.
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(and now for some non billy)When Grandmama fell off the boat,
And couldn't swim (and wouldn't float),
Matilda just stood by and smiled.
I almost could have slapped the child.
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Dr. Jones fell in the well
and died without a moan.
He should have tended to the sick
and left the well alone.
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"There's been an accident!" they said,
"Your servant's cut in half; he's dead!"
"Indeed!" said Mr. Jones, "and please
Send me the half that's got my keys."
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The ice upon our pond's so thin
That poor Mamma has fallen in!
We cannot reach her from the shore
Until the surface freezes more.
Ah me, my heart grows weary waiting
-Besides, I want to have some skating.
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(y know what they say..a black joke a day keeps the cancer away..and i dont know who the willie in the picture is..i just felt he needed to be here)Labels: black humour, death, poetry, willie
